Kissing Negative Nancy goodbye (sorry to the Nancy's out there, the silent victims of alliteration).

Today marked the beginning of the one week a year of nice weather in New Orleans. A cool breeze is blowing and the humidity decided to take a sick day for once. It's saturday and I feel like I should be out pretending to exercise or letting my dog Roux know what outside looks like. Instead, I am stuck to a desk studying my least favorite subject in the world: physics. I have a major exam on Monday and so far this week I have let this whole "recovering from anesthesia" thing be a perfect excuse not to study. So here I am, window open, breeze blowing in, pouting because I have to study instead of enjoying the outdoors.

This is a prime example of my tendency to be a pissypants. Lately I've been ruminating on the changes I am going to have to make in my attitude in general, let alone my attitude about IC, in order not to become a miserable cow. I, like so many, have a tendency to complain...a lot. I have known this about myself for years. In fact it's the one thing I hate most about other people (obviously because I hate it most about myself - thanks freshman psych!). With this new diagnosis of IC, which implies a lot of future discomfort, it is going to be dangerously easy to slip on down that bitch slope. It's an actual reason to complain, and if you are a complainer like me and have an actual reason to complain...hold on to your hat. It won't even take effort to find something to whine about.

The thing is though, I don't want that to be me. I don't want to be one of those people that everyone hates to be around. I want to become a person who elevates the mood of those I surround, not send everyone on their way thinking, "Man, she's obnoxious." The first step is admitting you have a problem. So here it is, I am a whiny biatch. Now that I've admitted it and realized that I have been handed Grade A fodder for my grumpiness, I need to work extra hard to be aware of my attitude.

So yeah, it sucks that I'm not sitting outside at my favorite bring your pup bar, sipping a pint, but you know what sucks even more? The fact that most women around the world don't have the privilege of schooling, bettering themselves and actually achieving their dreams. So today I am completely grateful that I am stuck inside studying physics. I am especially grateful that IC may have been the wake up call I needed to change my attitude about everything.